Friday, 6 September 2013

A 'GOOD' death

A ‘GOOD’ death.

Death bothered me my whole life.   when my grandpa died when I was 17, I was depressed.   My grandma died just before the 911 attacks and I was depressed for like 2 years.    But in reality, I should have celebrated their lives and deaths.  I started taking a different view of the world, and how when people who have experienced ‘life’, marriage, children, grandchildren, GREAT grandchildren.   THEY had a GOOD death.   Sean’s grandpa died In the summer of 2011.   This was the first funeral I was at where I wasn’t at all sad, in fact, I was happy for  what he was able to experience in his life, he was in his 90’s when he died.   I remember walking away thinking, I have sure grown and I sure now ‘get it’, what life is all about.   I was so happy!

WHAM.   Zach dies in October.  

I TAKE IT ALL BACK.   I never should have grown, I should have never thought there was good deaths.  I feel I tempted the gods and they took my son.

I will never ever go to another funeral thinking it was a good death.   Zach’s death has shattered that growth for me.   no wonder I hate this world.